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“Good practice there, Wilde. Way to hold you own out there.” Dorcel, the quarterback, caught up to him on the way to the locker room. His jet-black hair was damp and stuck to his head.
“Thanks, I guess.” All he knew about Steve Dorcel was that he was one of the highest-paid quarterbacks in the NFL, married, with a kid on the way.
“You didn’t miss once, and the guys really tested you.”
Testing him, was that what they’d been doing? Jake was pretty sure it had been more. They were pissed he was there, moving in on Jeger’s position, thinking he was there to replace him, which, he was pretty sure, was Coach’s intent. Everyone knew it, but no one was saying it.
“That’s the name of the game, isn’t it?” Jake said.
Dorcel pushed open the locker room door, paused, and smiled at Jake, one of those cocky smiles that said just maybe he wasn’t feeling quite the same way as the others on the team. Then he walked in, listening to the catcalls and locker room talk from the other players. Jake pulled open his locker, pulled out his bag, and set it on the bench behind him, then glanced at his cell phone resting on the shelf. Of course he couldn’t stop himself from reaching for it and checking again, as he had a hundred times already today, just to make sure the ringer hadn’t been turned off. His heart jumped just a little when he saw there were two missed calls and a message.
Someone passing by patted his shoulder, but he didn’t look over or say a word. He thumbed through the screen and checked the message, then pressed the phone to his ear. He had to walk to the door, as the noise in the locker room was too loud.
“Hi, Jake.” He could hear something in Jill’s voice on the message as she hesitated. His first thought was to go to her to find out what was wrong. “I got your messages, and I’m sorry I didn’t call you back. But, well, I just hope your move went well, and take care.”
What the hell was that? She sounded off, maybe because of the distance? Had to be. He looked around the now empty hallway and dialed her number. It rang only once before he heard her sweet voice.
“Hi, Jake.” She didn’t sound like herself.
“I just got your message. I was in practice.” He sounded like such a dork. She wasn’t making this easy, but then, Jill wasn’t much of a talker. Neither was he. “Are you all right? Because you don’t sound all right.”
“I’m sorry, Jake.” Was she crying on the other end? “I miss talking to you.”
“Hey, it’s okay. Listen, I’m here, baby. I can have a ticket waiting for you at the airport, and you can get on the next plane. I’ll take care of everything.” And he would. He just needed to get her here, to hold her in his arms. Then she’d know just how much she meant to him. It was all this damn distance, distance she’d put between them. She was confused, was all. He’d pushed too hard.
“Jake, you’re not listening to me.”
He could hear her sigh. At the same time, he was trying to hear the background noise and figure out where she was. Soft music, maybe from a radio, and then he could hear a door close and it was quiet. “Jill, where are you?”
“I didn’t want to get into this on the phone. You’ve been such a good friend. You were there for me, a shoulder to lean on. And I loved being with you, but I was kidding myself.”
What the hell was she talking about? He didn’t like the direction this was going. He’d done everything he could to protect her, to cherish her, the one thing his brother had never done.
“Jill, whatever you’re thinking, don’t. Come down here. Let’s sit down and talk this out. Having this distance between us isn’t the answer. You’re freaking out because I asked you to marry me, and maybe you’re panicking a bit. Maybe it was too soon for you. I can wait, but you gotta know I’m all in for you. I love you.”
“You’re not hearing me, Jake. I don’t love you.”
He couldn’t believe she was saying this, and his heart squeezed as the panic began to build. She was confused. There was no way a woman like her could hide the feelings she had for him when he was buried inside her so deeply. The way she responded to him, to his touch, his kiss, the look in her eyes and the way they brightened when she came around him…that wasn’t a lie. That last time, before he asked her to marry him, he hadn’t used any protection. Of course she knew, and maybe he was being selfish, wanting to bind her to him. Maybe he was a prick for doing it. He didn’t want to look too closely at his motives. He may not have liked who he’d become, but he also knew, in that moment, he’d do it again in a second.
“Jill, maybe I pushed too hard.” He rammed his fingers in his damp, disheveled hair. It was getting long and knotted. He pulled it away from his face hard.
“No, Jake. You made it easy for me, too easy, so easy that I didn’t have to face up to my feelings. You have no idea how good it felt, you taking care of everything. You were my rock, my friend, and you deserve someone who can love you for the wonderful man you are. You have a lot to offer.”
What the hell was she saying? “Jill, I want to give everything to you, to have a family with you, to be with you. We’re so good together! I know you want me. You can’t hide the reaction you had to me in bed. You can’t fake that. Are you pregnant?” He had to know.
She didn’t say anything, and that made the anxious knot that twisted in his gut tighten even more.
“Jill, answer me. You know the last night we were together, I wasn’t prepared for you to walk out.”
“No, you were trying to find a way to keep me. I figured it out after, when you asked me to marry you. It was then I realized it had gone too far. It was my wakeup call for how serious it was between us. I didn’t mean for it to go there. I just wanted—”
“You wanted what?” He was furious. He couldn’t believe what she was saying.
“Don’t be mad at me! I couldn’t bear it, Jake. I miss you, but not in the way you think. I miss my friend Jake, who was there for me, who listened to me. You have such big, amazing, strong, broad shoulders, and the way you allowed me to lean into you… You made me feel so safe. But I can’t, we can’t, because I don’t love you the way you love me. I’m not being fair to you…because I still have feelings for Samuel.”
What the fuck? How could she, after what he’d done to her? He didn’t know what to do with his hands. He wanted to hit something, someone, as he squeezed the phone. “Are you kidding me? Are you forgetting how he picked up another woman right in front of you because he was getting cold feet? His way of dumping you, and then he moved the chick in. He really didn’t think very much of you, did he?” Now he was being an ass, a hurtful, spiteful ass, but he didn’t care. This woman on the other end of the phone was jamming an icepick in his heart because…why? She was so fucked up because of his brother.
“I know what he did, and I hate him for that, but there’s a fine line between love and hate, and Samuel has always been my everything. I just didn’t know it until you asked me to marry you. I knew I would be settling with you, and I don’t ever want to settle. That’s not being fair to me, and that’s not being fair to you.”
“Where are you?” he asked again. He was out of his mind, and for a moment he wondered just how stupid he was. He was, right now, considering getting on a plane and going to see her so he could talk to her face to face. He knew if he just touched her, was with her in the same room, she’d realize she was kidding herself. Because the chemistry that clicked between them was so off the charts that she’d have to force herself to admit she was wrong.
“Jake, don’t do this. You’re making this so hard. You need to look after you, and you have a new opportunity with your new team. You need to walk away from me, Jake. Go be the success I know you are.”
“Jill, I’ll come to you. We’ll talk, you’ll see—”
“Stop it, Jake!” she cried. “I don’t want to hurt you anymore, but you’re pushing too hard. You need to back off. I didn’t want you to find out like this, but I’m with Samuel now. I’m staying with him, so don’t call me again.”
&n
bsp; He was squeezing the phone, listening to the buzz of the disconnected line. Maybe it was shock or disbelief or something, because he felt lightheaded, as if the entire team had just jumped on him, knocking everything he believed to be true out of him. It was cruel, and he heard the words again over and over in his head. It took a second before he realized that it wasn’t just Jill that had screwed him, it was his brother.
He didn’t think, he just reacted, throwing his phone into the concrete wall and watching it as it shattered.
“Whoa! I hope she was worth it.”
He jumped at the feminine voice behind him. He turned around, staring into the bold, big blue eyes of one of the cheerleaders. She had a bag tossed over her shoulder and was wearing white shorts and a peach tank top. Her long hair, more mahogany than red, was tied back and hung down to her waist. She was slender with curves. She gestured to the wall where he’d just shattered his phone.
Crap! He hoped no one else had noticed, as he realized they were both standing in the open hallway of his new stadium. A great first impression this had made. He didn’t want to be known as the crazy, stupid player who couldn’t hold it together.
“I’m Chris, and you’re Jake Wilde, the new guy.” She didn’t reach out to shake his hand. Smart girl. Maybe she was scared, but the way she stood in front of him, taking him in, she didn’t seem scared of anything.
“Sorry, that was just—uh…”
She held up her hand, stopping him from digging himself into a hole and looking like one of the biggest fools around. At least not any more than he already did. “Take my advice or not,” she said, “but you’re wasting your time on someone who isn’t interested in you, and that’s a one-way street to getting yourself locked up, having a restraining order filed on you, or turning your life so upside down that you’ll lose everything you’ve worked so hard for. Do yourself a favor and move on.” She turned and started to walk away.
“Hey, wait a minute.”
She glanced over her shoulder at him but didn’t turn back, this woman who’d just witnessed him at his worst.
“Chris what?” He didn’t know why, but he wanted to know her full name, who she was.
“Chris Jeger.”
“Any relation to Myles Jeger, wide receiver?”
She didn’t blink, smile, nothing. “He’s my brother,” she replied.
Chapter 5
Chris didn’t know what had made her stop and watch the new guy, the one everyone knew was here to push her brother out. She’d hated Jake Wilde before he got here. When she’d first heard the team was picking up his contract even after his recent injury, she’d hoped—no, prayed—that he’d be a liability for the team, at the same time cheering her brother on. She wasn’t a fool. She’d heard the whispers that Myles Jeger was on his way out, that he’d lost his nerve. But she knew the truth: That wasn’t what had happened. Busted ribs and injuries weren’t enough to keep her brother down, not ever.
She needed to talk to Myles. That was why she was out in this hallway by the Cardinals’ locker room. She knew she shouldn’t have listened to what had surely been a very personal and private conversation. The new guy was pining for a woman, one who obviously didn’t share his feelings. Pathetic. She’d recognized the desperation in his voice, though. It wasn’t long ago that she’d been the one in his place.
She made it all the way to the parking lot before realizing she didn’t have her keys. She’d caught a ride with another cheerleader and was planning on riding back with Myles to have a much-needed heart to heart and get to the bottom of what was holding him back. Chris started to search out Myles’s blue pickup, but she couldn’t see it. She stepped over to another row and still didn’t see it. Maybe he had driven his Corvette, but that wasn’t something he normally did for practice.
“Hello again.”
She jumped when she heard the deep voice. She looked up at Jake Wilde, his hair still wet from showering, with his gym bag tossed over his shoulder. He looked good, wearing blue jeans, a light t-shirt across the span of his shoulders. His chest was ripped. She had a hard time looking away, but she glanced up into his dark shades.
“Hi,” she said. For the life of her, she couldn’t figure out what else to say.
He looked around over her head. “Were you looking for someone?” He must have been watching her.
“Yeah, my brother. I caught a ride with one of the other cheerleaders and was going to hitch a ride back with Myles, but I don’t see his truck.” She looked over her shoulder, trying to spy his red Corvette. “Or his car.”
“He’s gone already. Come on, I’ll give you a ride.” He was holding his keys and then gestured behind her. “I’ve got a rental until I get settled here.” He started walking toward a white Yukon SUV. He pressed a button on his keychain, and the doors unlocked with a beep. He pulled open the back and tossed in his bag. He reached for hers, and for a second she wondered whether maybe she should go back in and ask one of the others guys to drive her. But instead she handed him her bag so he could toss it in the back with his.
“You really don’t mind? Because I’m out past Glendale.”
He was shaking his head as he closed the hatch. “No, that’s fine.” Then he did the most unusual thing. He walked around to her side and opened the passenger door for her, even holding out his hand to help her in. A gentleman, wow. She’d thought that was a lost art.
He closed her door, and she watched as he walked around and climbed in, sliding under the wheel. Maybe she was staring at him as he slid the key in the ignition, because he cleared his throat and said, “Put your seatbelt on.”
“Right.” Of course, what an idiot. She must have been gawking, so completely blown away by that gesture. The chick on the phone with him was an idiot, as far as she was concerned—but then, she didn’t know the whole story.
He backed out, his arm tossed around the back of her seat. His hand was large, the kind of hand that could do amazing things running over a woman’s body. She could feel the heat, the chemistry. What was it about these players that had women falling all over them like fools? She’d thought she was immune after Troy. Maybe this was chemistry, or maybe it was just the fact that she knew Jake was mentally taken by another woman. She was a sucker for them, the ones she had no hope in hell with.
“So what else do you do for work, Chris?” he asked as he pulled out of the parking lot.
“I work at a small law firm. I’m a legal secretary.”
“Sounds interesting,” he said, resting one hand on the wheel and the other against the door. She wondered if he really was interested or just being nice. Small talk and all those social niceties… She hated when people really didn’t mean what they said. She couldn’t tell with Jake, but she was sure he was distracted, probably thinking of that girl, the one he’d been pleading with on the phone.
“Not really,” she said. “Sometimes there are land disputes, family stuff. The lawyer I work for does mostly family law, you know, divorce, separations, custody, always some drama walking in the front door. But she’s nice, lets me work around my training practices.” She rested her hand on the dark padded door and glanced at her fingers, her nails short and clipped. No polish.
She wondered if he was listening to her. Maybe not. He seemed so distracted, but then, she didn’t really know him, only what she thought he would be like. Funny how some people turned out nothing like how she pictured them.
“So how do you like Phoenix?” she asked. She sucked at small talk. Guys usually carried the ball, but the moody guy driving her now didn’t seem interested in creating any kind of conversation. This could be a really long ride.
“Don’t know it. Haven’t seen any of it other than my hotel last night and the field this morning. It’s warm.” He glanced her way. “How long have you lived here?”
“Five years. I moved out here from Texas after I finished my GED. Stayed with Myles until I found a job. He hooked me up with the team for the cheerleading gig. I danced all through colle
ge, was a cheerleader in high school. I was excited when I got the position.”
He didn’t nod or anything. He either wasn’t listening or was taking in everything she said. It was unnerving how he didn’t respond at first. “You got family in Texas?” He was looking straight ahead, and she wondered if this was his small talk.
“Mom and Dad are in Houston, suburbia. Myles and I are it for the kids, a boy and a girl and they were done. You?” She wondered about Jake. What made him tick?
“Parents in Boise. Have four brothers, one still in Boise with his girlfriend. We were raised in Idaho. Joe and his second wife are still there where we grew up, in Post Falls—small, rural. Logan, my big brother, is a Sheriff in McKay. He’s there with his new family.”
She didn’t miss the way he hesitated. “That’s three. Where’s the other brother?” She noticed his face appeared to darken, and the way he hesitated made her wonder what bad blood existed between them.
“Samuel is in Seattle.” It was all he said, and she noticed how tightly he held his jaw and then glanced over his shoulder to change lanes, speeding up.
“Seattle, that’s where you were. Are you and your brother in Seattle close?” Maybe she should have left it alone.
He actually laughed, but it didn’t sound friendly. “At one time.”
She was positive he was going to say more, but he just stopped talking. “Okay, so bad blood there or something?”
He glanced over at her and then back to the road. “Curious, aren’t you?” The way he said it told her he had no intention of elaborating.
“Sorry, call it an occupational hazard. I see a lot of people whose relationships are on the rocks. With love and hate, there’s such a fine line.”
“Yeah, ain’t that the truth?” He wiped his hand over his chin, and she could hear the scratch of his whiskers. “So tell me about you. You married, husband, kids, boyfriend?”