A Reason to Breathe Page 3

  “The line went right here…” The girl motioned to her collarbone. “And his voice was scratchy. He kept rubbing his neck, and his fingers were stained yellow.”

  She took in the girl, who pointed to her fingers. An older woman with short light hair approached. “Excuse me,” she said to the cop. “Jasmine is my daughter. She’s on the spectrum. She has Asperger’s. This has been a lot for her.”

  The girl was now looking at Trevor, and they seemed to be having their own conversation, talking to the same lady cop about the robbers.

  “He was angry and pointed the gun hard again and again,” Jasmine said. “He had a bird on his arm, a tattoo with red, blue.”

  “Oh, a woodpecker,” Trevor added with excitement, and she wondered who he was talking about, because she hadn’t seen anything.

  “Who had the tattoo?” the cop said to Trevor, looking from him to the girl beside him.

  “The robber that pointed the gun at me and you had a tattoo?” Katy asked, feeling Steven’s hand on her shoulder now. The cop turned and took her in.

  “No, the other guy, the one running with the bag,” Trevor said as if she should’ve known.

  All Katy could do was take in the scene, this back and forth between a girl and a guy both on the spectrum. The cop was listening, as were all the other employees in the bank, but the fact was that Trevor had now moved on to asking the girl about some video game, a TV show he liked, and if she chopped wood.

  For the first time in her life, she realized that Trevor needed love, too.

  4

  The bowls were backwards in the dishwasher. It was his dad who could never put anything in the right way. He fixed the order of the bowls, lining them up so they were straight, and then closed the dishwasher, taking in the counter, seeing nothing else to load. He was done. Time to hit the video games.

  “Trevor, who was that girl again at the bank, Janice…?” Steven allowed the name to linger as he leaned against the counter, and he had an odd tilt to his lip. Trevor wasn’t sure, from the way he was looking at him, what he wanted.

  “Jasmine. I told you already what her name was.”

  Steven didn’t look away, and Trevor had to take a step back, because he was too close, in his space. The table was cleared, everything was put away, and it was time to slip into the den and play some video games. Steven was messing with his routine.

  “Right, sorry. Jasmine was her name. Cute name, cute girl. What did she say to you about horses again?” Steven reached over and tapped his shoulder, and now he thought he was smiling oddly at him. Why?

  He didn’t want to talk about horses. He was going to play his video game—and of course she was cute. She was really nice, too, and she liked the same things he did, mostly. She liked horses, and she preferred Minecraft over his favorite video game, Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm. He didn’t know about that, because it should’ve been the other way around.

  “Didn’t she invite you over? I’m sure that’s what I heard. I think she likes you,” Steven said.

  He could feel his face heat and took in his dad, who hung up the phone and walked over, really looking at him with that intense gaze he hated. Of course he’d been listening, and Trevor had figured out now that Steven was teasing him, maybe. Steven liked doing that, pushing his buttons.

  “Nope, uh-uh.” He shook his finger in the air as he went to walk around Steven and his dad to leave the kitchen, but he bumped into his dad. “Fools,” he muttered under his breath.

  “Hey, don’t walk away, and don’t call us that. Are you kidding me?” His dad was laughing, but Trevor didn’t think it was a funny laugh, and the expression on his face had him hesitating.

  “Uh, sorry,” he said as he took in his dad’s disapproval. His face had that look that made Trevor think he could be in trouble. He’d said it under his breath. How had they heard him?

  “So tomorrow Neil is going to pick you up, since everything got kind of messed up from that robbery,” Brad said and looked over to Steven, and Trevor waited for whatever plans were to be set for him. He frowned.

  “Tomorrow’s Thursday,” he said. “I can’t go. I have to look after the horses and cows, feed them…” And fix the tack, the mess in the tack room. Move the hay.

  “Since you missed work, I talked to your boss at the bakery, and they said you can make up the day on Friday. Did you still want to go to Uncle Neil’s tonight?” Brad asked.

  “No, thanks. I’m good here,” Trevor said. His uncle would make him talk, and then there was the woodworking. He liked it, but he wanted to play his video game.

  “So this girl Jasmine at the bank…I understand that between the two of you, you gave a really great description of the robbers, and they’ll likely catch them because of you,” his dad said, and he just stared. Was he supposed to reply?

  “Actually, Dad,” Katy said, appearing in the kitchen, “Trevor and Jasmine gave such in-depth descriptions that I wouldn’t be surprised if they found those two guys by the end of the day. What Trevor lacks in chatty detail, Jasmine made up for. Isn’t that right, Trevor? She just had a way of stating details that Trevor doesn’t, and she noticed…wow! He would add something to what she said, and now I’m convinced…”

  Katy was beside him. At least she had changed into a blue shirt now, and he knew she was still talking, but he found himself looking into the living room and spotting the flat-screen TV, which was facing the wrong way. He stepped away from Katy and over to the TV to straighten it.

  “That’s better,” he said.

  “Earth to Trevor.”

  He turned to Katy.

  “Well, does that sound like a plan?” Katy was beside him and rested her hand on his shoulder. What was she talking about?

  “What?”

  She merely shook her head, and he took in his dad and Steven talking about something, and he was sure he’d been forgotten. He needed to slip away, go into the den and see if Jack was still playing that video game, and Fletcher too. He’d wait and then take it over.

  “Trevor, seriously, you’re not listening,” Katy said.

  He took in her face, stopped, and frowned. “I am listening,” he said. Great, now he could go. He started to walk to the back of the house, but his dad and Steven were in the way.

  “Hey, hey, hey, come on back here,” Katy said.

  “Trevor, stop walking away,” Brad said, glancing to Steven. “We’re talking about this girl…”

  “Jasmine,” Steven said. “She’s cute.”

  Okay, so Jasmine was nice, but why were they talking about her? It wasn’t something that was good to think about.

  “Would you like to see Jasmine again?” Katy said. Why was she looking at him that way?

  He shrugged. “Sure. Okay, gotta go. That’s enough talking.”

  He went to take another step, but his dad moved toward him. His hair was white and dark. Just then, his mom stepped into the room, and she looked from him to his dad.

  “It’s not enough,” Brad said. “This Jasmine sounds interesting. She likes horses?”

  Okay, now his mom was staring at him.

  He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  “She said she did, Trevor,” Katy said. “She has horses. In fact, I don’t think they live that far from here. Invite her over to see our horses.”

  “Who is this?” Emily asked, but Trevor didn’t answer, because his dad already had. They’d tell his mom, talk for him, and he could slip away, play that video game, because it was already ten after eight. He could see the clock. Until nine, he could play, then read a book, then get ready for bed.

  A hand slid around his shoulder. Katy. “Change of plans, big guy. You’ve been getting too stuck in your routine. It will do you good to shake it up.” She patted his shoulder again. “Come sit. Let’s talk, and let’s make some plans.”

  “What? No!” he said, but he found himself somehow turned and in the living room with everyone, which pulled him from the one thing he did this time of night
: play his video game.

  5

  “Mom, you and Dad are letting Trevor get stuck in a routine,” Katy said. “I noticed he has a way of not answering when he should and then walking away because he knows he can. It’s been getting worse as of late, or maybe I’m just noticing now. And I had no idea that Trevor needs companionship, friendship, from a girl his own age. Actually, not a girl—a woman his age to share his life with. I mean, think about it. We all do.”

  She took in the way her mom glanced up from where she was sitting on the sofa beside her dad. The TV was on, and they were watching one of the Law and Order shows. She didn’t know which one. Her dad picked up the remote and turned the sound down.

  “I mean, today at the bank was kind of an eye-opener for me,” Katy continued. “I guess I’ve just been used to doing things for Trevor, helping him so he can have a life and do the best he can for himself, even though I also knew he’d spend his life here and with the rest of the family, one of us always looking after him. Uncle Neil, Jed, even Grandma and Grandpa.”

  Her dad now lifted the remote again and turned off the TV. She could hear Steven upstairs laughing and knew he was tucking in Fletcher. Jack too had gone to bed, and she knew Trevor was now in the shower and would be going to bed soon too. It was his routine, the same, dependable.

  “Although he seems happy, I guess today showed me in so many ways that he needs so much more,” she finished.

  Her mom hadn’t said anything, but the way she was watching her and lifted a brow, she expected her to add something and wondered if it would be anything she liked. She shifted her gaze to her dad, and she wasn’t sure what to make of the way he was watching her.

  “You know what, Katy? It sounds like there was some criticism in there,” her mom finally said.

  “No, no, nothing like that,” Katy said. “It’s what we’ve all done. I guess I just underestimated him so much, and I know how hard you’ve worked, setting everything up for Trevor, working with him, running his program, getting him support and seeing that we all raised our expectations, teaching him so much. It’s become our way of life, but I think we missed the part about how he has to go out and meet someone, get married, have kids. I don’t know how I ever thought that maybe Trevor wouldn’t want the same thing…”

  Her mom pulled in a breath to interrupt, and she could see she might be taking this the wrong way.

  “No, this is important, Mom,” Katy continued. “You know how Trevor hasn’t really had a close friend. You had to schedule play dates, and he had to be taught how to play, everything, with his social skills, conversation, talking to people, learning how to read social cues, body language. The fact is that he doesn’t know how to make a friend. You know how you and I sit and talk about our future, feelings, mistakes, things that are bothering us, our worries and fears, real and imagined? That’s something Trevor doesn’t do, but today at the bank I saw something that surprised the shit out of me.” She gestured, still trying to get her head around it.

  She heard the squeak on the stairs and turned to see Steven, sock footed in his faded blue jeans and a deep blue T-shirt. “What’s up?” he said, looking from her to her parents. Good grief! He was seriously hot.

  “We’re talking about Trevor. Katy seems to think that he’s missing something,” Brad said, and she wasn’t sure whether that was sarcasm in his tone or what. Her mom was giving her a look as if she half expected her to say something she wasn’t going to like.

  “No, you’re not getting it, Dad. I’m saying I saw something today I never expected. I mean at the bank today, I was so scared shitless when those guys with the guns walked in. I didn’t know what Trevor would do, and I seriously thought he was going to get shot. I felt panic hit me like I’ve never experienced, and I just held on to him and told him to be quiet. When that guy came towards me like he did, pointing that gun straight at me, my heart was hammering, and I didn’t know whether Trevor and I would be okay, whether he would shoot me or Trevor. It was the kind of fear that hits you right here.” She pressed the flat of her hand over her chest, then her heart, and then settled it on her stomach. “There was a moment, a flash of a second, where I thought that was it…”

  She had everyone’s attention, and Steven sat down at the edge of the loveseat with her, sliding his arm over her shoulder. She looked up and took in the concern he had for her, that same concern that had been there off and on since he’d arrived at the bank and followed her home after the hours they’d spent giving statements. In all that chaos, she’d left without the cash she’d stopped for.

  She shrugged. “Then Trevor just bolted upright in front of me to protect me, yelling at the guy about the gun, not to point it at me, and how dangerous they were. I don’t even remember everything he said, because I couldn’t believe what he was doing, protecting me as if ready to take a bullet for me…” She lifted her hands, feeling her heartbeat kick up again. “And there I am, face down, trying to get him to get down, and the whole time I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that he’d done what he did. I underestimated him. Then seeing him with that girl, I realized I keep seeing him as a teenager when he’s not. He’s a few years older than me. So was Jasmine, and seeing her and him together…it wasn’t like she was a hot Barbie doll or anything that he would be naturally drawn to, like all you guys.”

  She took in Steven, who actually lifted his eyes to the ceiling at the comment. She’d expressed her feelings before about men and hot babes. “But she was cute,” she continued, “and it just looked as if the two of them would and could be perfectly right for each other. She’s on the spectrum, pretty high functioning, I could see, better language skills, but with the two of them, there was none of that awkwardness you see when a typical person first meets a special-needs adult with autism and they don’t know what to expect. She understood him and he her, and they were so comfortable with each other.”

  She pulled in a breath and loved the way Steven slid his thumb down her arm as she leaned against him, close. Her parents seemed to be considering something as they glanced to each other.

  “I still can’t believe Trevor did what he did,” her mom said, looking at her dad.

  Her dad shook his head. “I talked with Trevor about guns. He’s seen mine, but I made sure he understood how dangerous they were. He wouldn’t know how to fire one, but I did know he understood. I guess I never thought about how he would react in a situation like that, when push comes to shove—a situation I never would’ve expected or wanted either of you to be in. I guess I’m proud he did what he did, but still, I want to sit him down so he understands he can’t do that again, because the outcome…”

  Her mom squeezed his arm. There it was, that special something between them.

  “Yeah, I know, Em,” Brad said. “It’s not something I want to consider. But I think Katy is right about this young lady, Jasmine?” He leaned forward and stood up. “He should have a young lady to get to know, to spend time with. Maybe you can find out how to get a hold of her. We can see that they have some time together, take the horses out, have dinner…” Her dad was looking right at her.

  “I already know how to get a hold of her,” Katy said. “I spoke with her mom before we left the bank and got their phone number, so yeah, I’ll call and…” She lifted her hands, rubbed them together, and had to fight the urge to giggle. “Arrange the first of hopefully many dates.”

  6

  “Wouldn’t it be easier to just call her?”

  It had been a whim to stop at her uncle Neil’s after she’d left several messages for Rhonda Walker that morning—three, to be exact, but best to keep that little bit to herself.

  “I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t done that. What can I say? No answer, and…” Katy shrugged from where she sat slumped in a black leather chair across from her uncle’s desk in his home office, which looked out over the huge yard that offered a view of the ocean. It was spectacular.

  Her uncle was giving her that heavy stare before he flashed a
roguelike smile that said he had figured out what she was doing. He looked like her dad in so many ways, but at the same time he was so very different. Her father was a rancher, but her uncle Neil, even dressed casually, oozed with style. His maroon knit clung to his chest, and he leaned back in his deep burgundy leather chair and then faced his iMac, typing.

  “So what is it exactly you want to know about the family?” he said, then slid his gaze to her again when she didn’t answer. His amber eyes were the same color as her dad’s, but Neil seemed to see things far differently than Brad did. Maybe that was why she was there.

  “Well, here’s what I know from googling the Walkers’ Facebook accounts and such. Her name is Jasmine Walker, and she’s cute. The Walkers live on the other side of Hoquiam, just outside of town, on five and a half acres, and have lived in the area for nearly eight years after relocating from Boise, Idaho. Jasmine, from what I can tell, is an only child, twenty-four years old, and has Asperger’s. She lives with her parents, Ed and Rhonda. Her father is in sales, sporting goods, I think, and travels between here and Boise, where the family home is still located. Jasmine’s mom, Rhonda, is the assistant manager for the local legion.”

  Rhonda was also in several photos on her Facebook page with a guy named George. She didn’t add that part, as she didn’t think the picture it painted was any of her business.

  “You got all of that from social media?” Her uncle laughed as he shook his head.

  “Well, mostly. It’s amazing how many people put all kinds of personal information about themselves and their family online. They don’t even realize everyone outside their circle of friends could be watching and knowing exactly what they’re doing. All kinds of personal stuff. A picture is worth a thousand words,” she stated. She’d gone into her own Facebook page that morning after realizing what she’d picked up and had changed her entire page to private. Maybe she should consider taking it down entirely, that was, after she’d deleted all of Fletcher’s photos.